Sunday, December 07, 2008

A Quick Hello!

I'm sorry. I'm a terrible, terrible blogger these days.

We finished the First Quarter of school work, and got it turned in Monday. Then I set up an appointment to meet with the "School's" Special Ed. teacher to talk to her about Tay. Turns out that she's got NO problem me holding Tay back at the end of the school year if that's what I feel needs to be done; she and the "speach therapy" teacher are both available to work with Tay at the School's offices, rather than me having to put Tay back in regular public school; the special ed teacher expressed her frustration with how the schools teach almost ALL their subjects (inventive spelling, for example!) and how hard that makes teaching our children in a way that REALLY works. We cannot afford several hundred dollars for sending Tay to a child psycologist, so we're going to have to go ahead and go through the school system first. But, that also buys us a month's time till Scott's insurance through his company kicks in on Jan. 1st.

We've not had insurance through his company because the last company he was with had crappy insurance, and mine was much better. However, mine has been degraded year after year and is pretty crappy now itself (we don't have a lot in deductables, but our coverage really sucks). And the company that Scott's with now has pretty dang good coverage with deductables that are comparable (or even slightly better than) the deductables for MY insurance. We're going to keep my insurance as well, though. Anyway, that kicks in Jan. 1st, 2009. Keeping Tay from seeing a psycologist NOW for an ADD assessement means that when she DOES finally get to go, even if we have to pay for out it of pocket, insurance won't regard be able to regard any issues she's got as "pre-existing" and deny coverage.


Have had some personal frustrations BEYOND Tay's issues.

First a bit of background. When Scott and I got together, he had a girl friend; not a girlfriend/sweety, a friend who happened to be femail, but whom he regarded as something of a "younger sis" type friend. She's a year younger than me, and he always told me that even though DeeDee is cute, she's too young for him and he almost felt like a cradle-robber with ME, and going for somebody even younger was out of the question. Of course that was when I was only 17 and he was 23. Now, he's 34 and I'm nearly 30 and 4 or 5 years difference just doesn't make as much difference.

Anyway, DeeDee tried at least once to coerce Scott into sleeping with her even AFTER she knew his girlfriend (ME!) was pregnant with his baby. And even after I had Tay, DeeDee made it clear to me (both through actual words AND demeanor) that she'd like to entice Scott to cheat on me and leave me for herself. Then she left town, apparently. Joined the military or somesuch, and for 11 years she's not been a part of our lives, and I've been good with that. I've had NO heart-burn about NOT hearing from her.

Then a couple weeks back she came in to the library where I work. I recognised her. Apparently she doesn't recognise me, or at least she didn't acknowledge me. (Again, not terribly heart-burned about that.) She's got 2 kids now who both have HER maiden name as their last names. IE: no fathers in the picture for either kid. Well, I didn't tell Scott that I saw her because quite honeslty, I don't want her in our lives. In any way.

Fast forward to this past Monday, Scott went in to one of the local gas stations while he was filling up his truck, to pick up a hotdog for lunch, and there was DeeDee working at the counter. They chit-chatted for a bit before Scott had to head back to work. Evidently, after Scott said that we've only got the 1 kiddo and that she's as much as he and I can handle, and that we're homeschooling, DeeDee proceeded to tell Scott that she's got 2 that she absolutely adores; they're so respectful they say "yes maam, no maam" and what have you when responding to her questions or directions; she homeschools them both and they're both straight A students; she's holding down 3 jobs; she's coached their t-ball teams; she's got a degree in child psycology; etc, etc, etc. (Must I also point out that physically she's petite and pretty and slim?)

ARGH! Well, guess whom Scott spent the first half of the week talking all about?!?! He hasn't said a word about her though, since I replied back to one of his statements about the perfect Ms. DeeDee with 'Well, Ain't She Just MISS PERFECT, then!?!?!" His stupid response to that was "she's done SO MUCH with HER life!" *snort* Maybe if I hadn't met and married him, I would have done a lot more with mine, too. Who knows!!!! *sigh*

Anyway....... That's left me all week feeling like I've now got to be competing with this vision of perfection for my hubby's affections, which is TOTAL bull-shit. He's married to me, I shouldn't have to compete with ANYbody else for his affections.

To top it off, last Saturday was our 11th Anniversary. We went out to Ivory Jack's (a great Alaskan approximation of a family-friendly pub) for nachos. They've got the world's best homemade nachos there. (Man, they deep-fry the tortillas, then layer them with meat, and beans, and cheese and fresh diced tomatoes, and fresh diced onion, and sliced black olives, and sliced jalapenos -which I peel off and give to Scott, or Tay if she's with us-, then top with a second deep fried tortilla and more layers of all the goodies, then broil it till the cheese melts, then slice it up pizza style, and serve it with sour cream and guacamole and salsa. YUM!)

Anyway, so personally I've been feeling somewhat frustrated with Scott all week, but he never heard DeeDee's declarations of intent regarding herself and Scott, so he doesn't really get WHY I don't care for her. (And, even though she acted much more affectionate toward him than a platonic friend has any right to be, he's a very bad one for being able to read body language, so he didn't pick up on THOSE clues back in the day, either.)

Then Friday night, Scott and Tay went to an Ice Dogs game, and Tay came home and showed me the $20 bill she found in the ladies bathroom. When I asked if she'd tried to find an owner before claiming it, she and Scott BOTH responded with something along the lines of "Well, WHY???" and "Finder's Keepers" type comments. *sigh* I told Scott that he KNOWS how hard it can be to be without much money, and that losing $20 can be a very big deal, and so Tay should have first taken it to one of the Security Guards (the main Security Guard happens to be Scott's cousin Jack) or the snack counter to ask if anybody had reported losing $20. If no reports were made, then Tay's free to keep it. Otherwise the person who reported deserves to receive their money back. Both Scott and Tay responded to my assertations of what's right with claims that since Tay found it, it's hers no matter WHO dropped it. And then they got all pissy with ME for pointing out that SOMEBODY may be facing a lot harder week because they didn't do the honest thing by checking to see if somebody may have dropped it. *shaking head* I'm just so very disappointed in the two of them, but ESPECIALLY Scott. He's doing a great job on teaching our child to be an opportunistic person who views money as more important than people. *sigh*



Work has been slogging along. The usual hypocracy and idiocy from all corners. I've gone from LOVING my job, to almost dreading it. I don't hate it as much as I hated working at the bookstore, but I certainly don't love it any more.


We got at LEAST 4 inches of snow yesterday. It started snowing very lightly in the morning as we were leaving for Tay's hockey game and by the time we went to bed it was almost blizzard conditions, coming down quick and thick. This morning there are several untouched inches out there. I say at least 4 inches, in reality it's more along the lines of 6 inches. It's just hard to tell without having measured before the snowfall. *wry smile*


Tay's team hasn't won a game yet. In fact, in only 4 games, we've only had 2 goals. The girls on our team average 6 shots on the opposing goalie during a game (the low being 4 shots, the high being 8 shots). Tay's averages, though, are MUCH better. She's now taken 343 shots on goal, and only let 29 of those shots through. That's a 91% save ratio! That's right up there with good NHL goalies. And MAN!!!! Some of the saves she makes are INCREDIBLE! She took a couple to the face and neck yesterday. *wink* Hardly phased her though. She cought several in her glove, almost grabbing them right out of the air. One of them hit her face guard and she caught it on top of her blocker (that big pad-topped glove that goalies wear on the hand NOT holding the stick). At least once, the other kid shot the puck, Tay blocked it and was standing right on top of it, and the kid tried to come in to take the rebound shot, but Tay dropped down right on top of the puck as he was gearing up. The ref blew the whistle and you could SEE the frustration on the kid's face. *grin* It was awesome.


Ok. I've really gotta get heading out for work. The roads are guaranteed to be a mess this morning and I want to take my time on the drive in.

Have a Blessed Day!


Tori_z said...

Belated happy anniversary.

I'm sorry so many things aren't going right in your life right now... And - for the record - I'd be feeling the same way you are about Scott's "friend" if I was in your situation. Men just don't get it though!

An online friend of Kelly's (a female online friend) who he has known since before we married is supposed to be "passing through" London and staying a few days at the end of March. Kelly wants to go meet her. I told him I'm going too... And he can't understand why. He - like most men - doesn't think any woman could have any motives other than friendship when they know a guy is married. So I've asked my Mam to have Kero for a couple of days, because there's no way in hell I'm letting my husband go off to stay in a hotel (seporate rooms, but still...) with a female friend whom I don't even know while I sit at home worrying about what may or may not be going on. He didn't protest to me going once I got a doggy sitter arranged, so I suppose that's some comfort, but... *Shrugs*... I don't even know the woman, so how do I know she's not hoping to persuade him to hop in to bed with her? Don't get me wrong, I trust him... I just don't trust her (because I don't know her, so don't know if she's trustworthy) and since Kelly's as nieve as Scott seems to be when it comes to women... Well, I'm sure you get my point.

LadyStyx said...

Happy Belated Anniversary.

You're definitely right to not trust her. I wouldnt put it past her to lie to him to get what she wants which makes that conversation in the gas station extremely suspect. Seems odd to me that she didnt volunteer any of that info until she knew what YOU'D been up to. Then she made it like she did everything better. I'd have to question a woman that says she holds 3 jobs, coaches the t-ball teams, AND has time to home school 2 kids. I'd say that's a load of crap. If she was to say that she'd got a degree and was working as a psychologist...then maybe it's possible. But as she stated it, there's just no way timing wise...unless those 3 jobs are nothing more than 20 hr a week jobs....

MeadowLark said...

Do NOT tell him what she said. EVER. NEVER. It will open a door which you cannot close. Even if you think it will help him understand why you dislike her, it will only put a tiny thought in the back of his brain that he COULD if he WANTED to. And that is a baaaaaaad situation.

Peace to you, my friend.

peppylady said...

You don't have to take my advice or opinion.
This so female subject that came into your life real don't seem to be on the up and up.
So the little I gather from your blog.
I would be careful what slip out of my mouth in front of her.
Don't talk in private to her she tell other what they want to hear or benefit her.
In all keep thy mouth close or she going to use it her benefit.

Well things are good 98% of the time.

Coffee is on.

Celticspirit said...

Sorry to hear what you're going through. I went through a lot of that same crap when I lived in SC...even to the point that I went back to NM because of Russell's ex wife. He found out real quick that the *grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence* and found out real quick when I was gone that his ex is now a drunk who goes to bars every night, has a beer in one hand a a hard drink in the other and only wanted to use him. Then he asked me to back there and I refused to ever go back to that state again with her there and now we are here in Oklahoma with no ex's in the picture.
Men can be so dumb and naive sometimes.

Fr. Peter Doodes said...

"Men can be so dumb and naive sometimes". Yup, you've got it in one there Celticspirit...

But Kati, does 'she' have friends all over the world that are concerned for her?