Won't be on tomorrow....

Just wanted to let everybody know that it'll probably be a day or two before I'm back online. We've got somebody who said they'll come get our computer desk tomorrow, which means that until the new one is put together & the computer set up on it (and the room re-arranged yet again), I won't be able to get online.

Just don't want anybody worrying about me when I'm not around for a couple of days.

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I went to talk to one of the women who interviewed me, tonight. She said I did very well on the interview, and that it came down to a number of small points where my friend/coworker showed better than I did. One of them being that I hadn't put my present boss down as a professional reference. However, Ingrid said that she elected to use current supervisors as one of the references and so she called my current boss. Ingrid advised me to talk to my current boss about the less-than-glowing report my boss gave Ingrid. She (Ingrid) didn't go into a lot of detail, but suggested that based on my boss's review, I'm not mature enough, don't take enough initiative, and I talk too much to really work well at this job at this point in time. Said that my work ethic was somewhat questionable.

*sigh* Suffice it to say, I need to go in and talk to my boss & see what I can do to better her opinion of me. I'm not too hopeful on that account. I think it's going to come down to accepting what I feel is a lack of professional respect on her part for myself & my coworkers, and shut-up & kiss ass. However, I'm not an ass-kisser. It's not who I am. As for taking initiative, the couple of times I've tried, I've either been reminded that this is not my job (ie: helping folks out in the stacks); this is not the thing I'm supposed to be doing at the moment (pitch hitting where help is needed on a moment-to-moment basis); or my other coworker, LG, jumps in and coopts the job to be done & makes it look like she's the one doing all the work. My current job has less opportunity for taking the initiative than did the job I did while out here at NPB previously.

Evidently, rather than blogging on here tomorrow (seeing as how I won't have the computer anyway) I'll be going in early to talk to my boss, AND to talk to Georgine, the other potential-boss who interviewed me.

I just wish I could sit there & face my boss & not feel like I'm prostituting myself & my ethics to please my boss. But, on the other hand, if I want this job at NPB, evidently that's exactly what I've got to do. I HATE the thought, though, of kissing ass, even for a job I want so badly. Makes me sick, folks who behave like that.

(And, I've taken the initiative to learn computer programs that will help me in this position!!!!! I've taken initiative by looking for volunteer work at the elem. school to gain experience!!!! There were a couple of occasions when I DID work out at NPB where I broached the subject of me performing a job, and once given permission, I jumped right on it!!! HOW can it appear that I don't take the initiative?!?!?!)

Then there's the feeling that my boss may be sitting there laughing to herself about how she's screwed me out of a job that I want, because of whatever it is SHE doesn't like about me. And here she'd been ooooooh so sympathetic the other day when I said I needed the day off. Should've known it was too good to be true, her actually acting human toward me. *sigh*

Wish me luck, as I try to keep from acting even more immature tomorrow than I've already been accused of being.

With all that said, Ingrid did say that she could see me in that position some day, providing I improve my work ethic & mature quite a bit. *sigh* Which leaves me feeling like she doesn't think I'll be ready in time for this fall when Miss Vicki retires.

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In other news..... It looks like we're going to have to take Puck back to the pound. DD came home from school today & found that once again Puck had dug all the food from his food bowl, into his water bowl, then dumped the water bowl onto the carpet (food & all), THEN proceeded to pull the carpeting up from under the cover-strip that seperates the living-room carpet from the kitchen linoleum. He'd also pulled all the trash out of the computer room trash bin (which, thankfully, wasn't full and didn't really have anything but paper in it), but he shredded everything in it, all over the computer room. *sigh*

I like him, I really do. He's a sweet dog. But he's obviously a very troubled dog, and even when we're exercising him & allowing for his idiocyncrasies, he's destructive. And he's tearing the house apart. We already need to replace carpetting on both sides of DD's bedroom door, AND our bedroom door, and now between the kitchen & living room. We've had to replace the bottom half of DD's bedroom window, and STILL need to replace the screen, because he torn the screen up & tried to break through the window itself...... We just cannot keep this dog who's sweet but so very troubled & destructive. (And, I cannot put him outside during the day because the last time I did he climbed out of his kennel and went walk-about.) *sigh*

I hate to give up on him, esp. knowing that he's likely to get put to sleep if we take him back to the pound, but I don't know what else to do. DH is all for putting a bullet through Puck's head. (Short of an emergency injury that requires immediate relief for major injury and no vet close enough to come do the job, I couldn't do that to a pet. Certainly not for this.)

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Anyway.... Just feeling (emotionally) like crap right now. Peeved, and annoyed, and hurt, and sad, and angry. And REALLY FREAKING TIRED because I haven't been sleeping worth a crap since I came down with this damned cold.

So, I guess I'll see y'all in a couple of days.

Have a Blessed Rest of the Week!