(For those that I'm in a yahoo group with, that may read this there, this is just a reposting of what I've posted on my groups, so you can disregard.)
Ok, so there's a state-wide advisory vote coming up on Tuesday that determines if state employees will be able to recieve benefits for their non-married partners. One group, of course, is calling it a "marriage protection vote" (gee, guess which one) and telling everybody to vote yes. The other group is calling it an "equal pay for equal work" vote, and telling everybody to vote no. I signed my name to a petition as a no-voter, and it turned up in a full-page ad in todays paper. The FIL just called and said to DH "did you know your wife's name is in the paper as a 'No voter'?!?!?! " Sure enough, that petition I signed at work a couple of weeks ago, got my name in the paper. FIL was somewhat disgruntled. I'm a bit nervous now, if my Dad'll read through the names and see me there as well. (I'm in the first column, towards the top, so I'm hard to miss.) I shouldn't be nervous about standing up for what's right, but I'm nervous about how this could bring so many differences of opinion with my dad out into the open. Differences of opinion that he's almost voilently vocal about, and that I've kept quiet on, just to keep the peace.
I told DH that this in no way protects (or threatens) our rights as a married couple. That nothing is going to take away our marriage vows, that nobody is saying that marriage isn't valid or in the cross-hairs. But, for those who "chose" to NOT get married, but have a life-partner anyway (no matter what sex, or for what reason they're not getting married), this gives them the same benefits as those who've made it religiously official. My coworker who's got a life-partner of 7 years (a hetero couple) and has a daughter with him. Some friends of ours who've got 4 girls together and still aren't married. This makes it OK for them to have benefits together, even if their not married in the eyes of the church. I told him that THIS is what the vote really is about, NOT protecting or threatening marriage. It's about giving 2 different couples with maybe different living situations, the SAME benefits.
Anyway, FIL was kinda grumbly that I'm voting NO, when he's voting yes. And my dad, if he reads it and sees, will be even MORE grumbly & upset, seeing as he's of the opinion that I walk lock-step with him & his church when voting.
*sigh* Wish I didn't feel nervous about this, but my stomach is now tossing & turning. Just had to share.
Have a Blessed Day!
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8 comments:
Good for you for standing up for what you believe in! Especially when it might not be an easy situation for you. Be proud of what you did, I am.
We live in a democracy and we have the right to be heard.
Awww sweetie... you had to go with what you believe and that's not wrong. I think you're great for standing for what you believe is right... even if it doesn't go with what the majority believes in (or your dad, for that matter! *smiles). Let me know if he gives you grief... I support you. And love you..- Mom
Kati
I too work for a state agency, different state, same issues. Five years ago I would have agreed with your Dad but now I agree with you. Health care needs to be a talking point in this country and has to be fixed, too much greed and the service we get gets worse and worse. By the way, Thanks for posting on my blog. Lately I have not had much time to post, very busy guy, getting retirement lined up and I had no idea there were so many things to get done just to be able to do nothing when I feel like it.
Congratulations! Congrats for voting no. I've been keeping up with the news coverage on it (as well as the letters to the editor) and I'm really hoping that the vote fails. I don't see how the reasoning to vote yes in this case is different from reasons given to ban interracial marriages in the past. I just want to shake people and tell them that just because you don't personally agree with something doesn't mean that you need to force others to do that same thing or be that same way.
I would tell you that you shouldn't be nervous about Dad finding out but there's a reason that I don't talk politics with Dad at all and it's basically for the same reason. On the other hand, Dad has such a bad opinion about democrats and liberal folks in general and sometimes I think that if he thought hard about how at least two of his daughters have some liberal views (me moreso than you, I'd say, but you've come a long way in recent years!) he'd realize that folks with liberal views aren't these evil, stupid, communists who aim to create a drug filled whorehouse of a nation. Anyways. I need coffee this morning.
Shelli, thanks for the laugh!!!
Actually, very suprisingly, Dad didn't say a thing about it this morning, and didn't even sound like he was grumpy about something that he wasn't willing to talk about. VERY suprising. Maybe I've misjudged Dad on this one.
Or, maybe he's voting no as well, not for moral reasons, but because the freaking state senate is wasting $1.2 million on this stupid freaking vote. That's a lot of cash that should have been spent on keeping the Fox water line funded (among so, so many other things), instead they're spending it on a nonsense vote. So, maybe Dad's looking at this from a financial viewpoint, recognizing the waste of money, and voting no himself, so he didn't feel the need to say anything about it to me. *shrug*
Wierd. I really thought I was going to get a load of grief from him this morning.
Anyway, thanks for the support, Mom, and Whim, and Slip, and PeppyLady, and Shelli!
Oh Kati, it is always tough when we make efforts to maintain peace and harmony with our parents and yet, we also try to act in ways we believe are right. I've certainly butted heads with my mom at times about some of my political and moral values. So I know the nervousness you must have felt when your name showed up in the paper. I'm glad things seem to be passing smoothly. I wish you continued luck with that.
You have thoughtful, rational reasons for deciding to be a "no voter." If others in your family disagree with you, perhaps they can rationally explain their reasons. Dirk wrote a good piece on forming opinions recently.
I'm proud of you for taking a stand, a stand based on positive reasons. I hope your dad may see the wisdom and heart in your choice.
Good luck.
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