Thursday, October 25, 2007

A Prayer Request and other news

So I talked to my dad last night and right off he said that his brother is in the hospital after 2 major brain strokes one on top of the other. It doesn't sound like my Uncle John is going to live, or would probably want to after this. And, when Uncle John dies, it would NOT be suprising to see his wife, my Aunt Norma Sue follow after him pretty quickly. They're very close, even all these years later, and she's in pretty bad health herself (diabetis & complications). So, it would certainly not be suprising to see her die of a broken heart very shortly after his passing, when the time comes.

So, I guess, considering neither one of them is in good health in the first place and prayers for their return to health would be pointless..... Prayers that what comes will come quickly and without pain for both, and that they will find peace, whether seperately or together. *sigh*

I last saw Uncle John and Aunt Norma Sue about 8-1/2 years ago when Dad and DD and I flew down to Dallas where they live (they actually live in Midlothian TX, a small town just outside Dallas) to visit Dad's mom (my Mom-mom) who was living with Uncle John and Aunt Norma Sue at the time. That was the last time I saw Mom-mom alive. DD was all of a year and a half and we spent her first real easter down there. I got a pretty neat sight watching my uncle search for an easter gift for his wife. He wound up buying her a stuffed lamb. She loves lambs and he said that for EVERY occasion he'd get her a new one. Not always a stuffed lamb, but sometimes lamb figurines, or pictures, or just a card with a lamb on the front. And not only on commercially sanctioned occasions, but on their personal little anniversaries. The anniversary of their first date. The anniversary of their first kiss, their son's birthdays. Whenever he could find a reason to give her a little gift, he would. And for her part, nothing she did seemed out of the ordinary for an old fashioned housewife, but it seemed that he adored everything she did. So maybe that was what he wanted, was what she was. It seems to be a lovely marriage of two people who deeply love & care for each other. (Not to say they don't have their problems, I'm sure, but in the 3 weeks Dad and I stayed in their home, I didn't notice if they ever fought or disagreed or what-have-you.)

Anyway, prayers for my Uncle John and Aunt Norma Sue.

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Also, some prayers for Dad, please. He wound up pulling or straining or whatever his Trapezius muscle on the right yesterday while at work. It's kinda funny, almost. He's been working at the post-office for 20 years now. He'll retire on the last day of November, and this close to retirement he winds up having to use some workman's comp. They've got him on light duty (he's a mechanic) for a couple of weeks. Probably pretty well till he's completely retired. I'm sure he'll be seeing his chiropractor (on the PO's dime) before long, but I also know that he's already had troubles with his shoulder and should have surgery on it. But, being as he's going through the Vet. hospital for that medical care, it's taking a long time to even get an MRI done to see what precisely is the problem.

So, prayers that this heals quickly so he can get on with the life of a soon-to-be retiree.

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DD's been on the amoxycillian and her ear seems to have stopped bugging her already. Not that we're going to quit the meds before they've been used up. That's just inviting a re-infection by a stronger bug.

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And last but not least: Guess who's going to be an Auntie again! *rolling eyes* Yep. That'd be me!

The SIL (the drug-addict who is alternately neglectful & abusive of the two boy's she's got currently) is pregnant again. As bad as it sounds, I'm actually praying for a miscarriage. That woman already treats her current two kids horribly (and that's not a biased mom speaking, I know I'm not a great mom myself, but my SIL makes ME look like a saint), and the world certainly doesn't need another child coming from her body. And no child deserves the neglect they will wind up getting from SIL.

She and MIL are hoping for a girl, this time. I'm praying that if SIL carries this one to term, that it's a boy as well. (And she's had 9 previous alleged pregnancies that I'm aware of, 1 of them a verifiable abortion, 1 a verifiable miscarriage, 2 live-births, this is pregnancy number 10.) I'm hoping she winds up being as prolific with boys as my family is with girls. Why, you ask???? Well, within the first couple of weeks after my younger nephew's birth, MIL and SIL were sitting there holding him & oohing & ahhing, and MIL actually said "I wish he was a girl so that I'd have a grand-daughter to spoil!"

*shaking head* DD IS the MIL's biological granddaughter! MIL seems to conveniently forget that fact quite a bit. For DD's birthday, MIL got DD a shirt. And yet she heaps hundreds of dollars of gifts upon the two nephews. Part of me kinda brushes it off to the fact that neither their mom nor their dad really bothers with the boys. But then I look at how much time the MIL spends with the boys versus DD, how she talks to the boys, how she treats the boys. It's not really about the $$ she spends on the boys versus DD, it's about the fact that she seems to regard DD as secondary now that she's got these two grandsons by her daughter. And I'm worried for DD that if SIL's newest is a girl, DD will be completely relegated to "second class" by MIL.

And for the record, this treatment of DD by MIL really pisses the FIL off and he does what he can to take an interest in DD's activities. He helps us out greatly by bringing DD to town for her hockey practices when they are schedualed for 5:30. His birthday present to her every year is paying for something for her to play hockey (this year it was the Sept/Oct. ice-time fee, last year it was new hockey pants). It irks the FIL to no end to see his oldest grandchild brushed off to one side by the MIL just because they've got two grandsons by her daughter. (Both DH and SIL are full siblings born of the same parents, DH being the older. But SIL is very obviously MIL's favorite and she plays that favorite card heavily and frequently.) But, even with the FIL showing an interest in her life & being around & helping out as he's able, DD misses the MIL's interest as well. DD keeps asking the MIL when she's going to come to one of DD's Saturday or Sunday practices and MIL always says she'll try for the next one, and yet the next practice (or game) comes and goes and MIL doesn't show. She stopped showing up to any practices or games a couple of years ago. DD wants her grandma to be proud of her, but her grandma's seemingly not interested because she's always got one or both of the nephews to take care of.

*sigh* Anyway, so if anybody wants to pray with me that this newest babe is a boy?!?!?! *wry smile* I certainly won't be asking anybody else to pray for a miscarriage for SIL, but I'll be perfectly honest that I do think that would be the best result for all. Unfortunately.

(Oh, and also for the record, SIL's newest pregnancy is NOT by the father of her two sons. This pregnancy is by her newest boyfriend, somebody she's been hemming & hawwing about breaking up with for the last few months. Now she's pregnant by him, supposedly. Could mean she's trying to hold onto a failing relationship by faking a pregnancy as we're pretty sure a few of her previous "pregnancies" have been faked. Either way, the fact that she's pregnant by this guy means their relationship probably won't last much longer as she tends to break up with the guys shortly after either the "miscarriage" or the baby is born -in the case of the younger nephew.)

EDITED TO ADD: Ya know, all day long I've had the thought running through my head "god, I sound like such a bitch, wishing a miscarriage on somebody." I kept thinking that maybe I ought to come back here and change that. And the truth is, I really don't wish anybody the emotional pain of a miscarriage. I can only imagine how much it must hurt to lose a child. I hope I never have to find that out. But, I also know that no matter how one puts it, my SIL has not made a even a slightly good mom to her boys. She spends most of her time partying and probably half of their lives she's been away or hard to find. She leaves one or the other with the inlaws every weekend so she'll only be hassled by one of them (for a while she was "living" with the inlaws and was out partying constantly while MIL took care of the boys along with working full time). *sigh* I hope I haven't hurt anybody's feelings by saying that I hope this pregnancy results in a miscarriage, but no matter which way I look at it, knowing how SIL has treated the two children she has already, and knowing her problems with drug abuse (before and after the births of both of her boys) I constantly come back to the feeling that this child would be worse off being born into this world with her for a mother.

Honestly, my SIL is one of 2 people that I personally feel should be forcibly sterilized. I am against eugenics, knowing that NOBODY is safe when one person (or organization) starts deciding who should have children and who shouldn't, who should live and who should die. But there are 2 women I know personally who've had their chance at having children and have proven to be such cruddy examples of parenthood that I really do feel like it would be in EVERYBODY'S best interest if they were rendered incapable of having anymore children. And both these women love being pregnant (their own admissions) but consequently treat their children like s**t once the child has been born. My SIL is one of these two.

I know I've got one Real Life friend who reads this and also knows the SIL, and AMBER, if you read this and it offends. I'm deeply sorry. But, having spent the last 11 years watching D. screw up her own life, and then the lives of the boys...... I can't in good conscious be thrilled about her bringing another child into this world. If the child makes it here, I'll be as loving an aunt to that babe as I have to the boys when I get to see them. But, I cannot think that it's good for the health of any child for D. to be it's mother.

As I said, I'm sorry if I have offended anybody. But I won't retract what I've said. Even though this is a diary made public, it still contains my feelings and thoughts and wanderings. And I won't censor what I've written purely to avoid hurt feelings. (Sometimes I might self-censor, if what I say incriminates anybody, but this time it doesn't and I won't apologize for saying what I truly feel.)

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Anyway, that's all the news for now. A whole lotta bad news. *sigh* I'm glad I can share things like this here. The one person at work who'd listen is the one person who gets most in trouble when she's seen talking to me. I don't want to get her in trouble with the boss any more for talking to me on company time.

Ya know, ironically, I was never able to keep a journal or diary because I just couldn't find anything interesting to write about. I don't seem to have the same problem (most of the time) with blogging. *wry smile* Maybe because it's somewhat interactive and not only do my blogger friends take an interest in my life, but it's a mutual give & take and I also get to comment on your lifes & express my joy, sympathy, or condolances for y'all as needed.

Have a Blessed Day!

5 comments:

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

I will pray for your Uncle, Aunt, and Dad.

It is not wrong to pray for someone to die if it will end their suffering.

I'm glad DD is feeling better.

I'd say congrats on being an Aunt again but with what you've said it doesn't sound like it's in order.

barefoot gardener said...

Wow! I don't even know where to start...

I think I will leave it with "I will pray for all the things you have asked prayers for". So sorry things are so cruddy right now.

Greg said...

Ok how about if we just pray for peace for your entire family. Done.

Now I have to ask this and please don't think I am making light of the situation. Did he ever get her lamb chops or leg of lamb? Just a thought that dawned on me. That is somethimg OI would have done, lol

Hugs and prayers for your family
Greg

Connie Peterson said...

I read, about a million years ago, a book channeled (supposedly) by God - and he said that abortion was acceptable when the family situation was not right. So praying for a miscarriage (according to this book) is not wrong. I sometimes feel that a baby is born in the right situation, but in your situation that you talk about it sounds like it is NOT right.

I am so sorry to hear about your MIL being so careless with your daughter's love and affection. She will grow up to not care for the grandmother at all and it will her the grandmother in the long run.

Blessings and strength.

peppylady said...

So very sorry to hear about the upset in your family. I'll light a candle in your honor.